With a lot of followers comes a lot of cruft. Having specific standards helps weed out the worst. I generally won’t follow those who:
- Only tweet with links to their own posts (if I wanted to subscribe to your blog, I would)
- Don’t ever @reply to anyone (it’s not very interesting to listen to someone who’s talking into a vacuum)
- Don’t have any tweets at all (do you understand the premise of Twitter?)
- Follow way more people than follow them (this seems spammy, or at the least, desperate)
Obviously some of these are very subjective, so they’re just general guidelines. You’ve basically got eight or nine tweets to catch my eye (that’s how many show up in my first screenful).And follow me on Twitter :)
"Our gifts that keep on giving are sure to make the perfect stocking stuffer any time of the year, so be sure to check out our complete line of sexually transmitted diseases. We’ve got venereal diseases for every taste and price range, so stop being a pussy and just buy it already."
"Can I get in trouble giving a disease to somebody?
Yes, so shut your mouth and don’t even tell your friends about it. Loose lips sink ships, and that goes two-fold in the flaps of her lady baffles, so don’t say a word to anybody about it and you’ll be fine.
How come when I asked the police they said it’s illegal to buy from the STD Store?
You can’t believe everything they tell you. They’re trained to lie. They also say perjury is illegal but they do it all the time. They say coercing and intimidating a witness is illegal, but they do that too. It’s illegal to download music from the internet, but you’ve done that. Did anything bad happen? It’s illegal to smoke pot but everybody does it anyway. It’s illegal to follow too close to the car in front of you or drive in the right lane except to pass. You need to get over your whole fear of authority because you won’t get anywhere acting like such a musky queef."
"Do you get to choose where you go to college, choose how fast you drive, or choose if it’s the right time to have a baby?
Remember, the easiest way to ensure your paternal rights is to never become a parent so it doesn’t matter at all. We can help! Lifesaver can help you take back the choice that should have never been taken from you to begin with!
Don’t let your life be destroyed by the selfishness of some dumb broad. Protect your rights now and order today!"
Don’t Let Her Selfishness Destroy Your Life
Did you know Chinamen don’t like being called “Oriental”? Of course not! Why would you even care when it’s not really your problem? There’s a lot to understanding what you “can” and “can’t” say around the workplace and more importantly, its critical to know when things are suddenly labeled offensive.
Check out their profiles. This is hilarious!
Insurgents Available For Immediate Adoption:
Name: Yahoodi Msafer
Language(s) Spoken: Arabic
Detained For: Unspecified grounds by way of information
Speaks English: No
Countries of Origin: Saudi Arabia by nationality, but they won’t take him back. He was picked up in Afghanistan.
Special Skills: He can herd goats very well and has worked with trained shepherd dogs. May also be proficient with small game milking.
About Him: This terrorist has been nearly a model inmate, even though he keeps bowing to pray to a false god at predictable times during the day. If you really want to mess with him, change the time on your clocks and see what he does!
His Dreams: According to his interpreter, the one thing he dreams most of is finding a new home. Not sure about the translation but it’s either “a new home” or “to go home”, but probably the former, because his old home was probably akin to a topographic anus in the worst bleached sector of nowhere.
Tracking all abortions in 39 states.Should we really know about all this?
If you want to be like St. Chester, you have to give of yourself. You have to see need, take the lead and accept responsibility. If you’re the lady who takes in a stray cat or two, you need to stop saying ‘no’ when people offer you another dozen strays. Saint Chester took in every orphaned boy he could get his fingers on, and he never asked for anything in exchange.