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Twitter followers guidelines

With a lot of followers comes a lot of cruft. Having specific standards helps weed out the worst. I generally won’t follow those who:

  • Only tweet with links to their own posts (if I wanted to subscribe to your blog, I would)
  • Don’t ever @reply to anyone (it’s not very interesting to listen to someone who’s talking into a vacuum)
  • Don’t have any tweets at all (do you understand the premise of Twitter?)
  • Follow way more people than follow them (this seems spammy, or at the least, desperate)

Obviously some of these are very subjective, so they’re just general guidelines. You’ve basically got eight or nine tweets to catch my eye (that’s how many show up in my first screenful).

And follow me on Twitter :)
Sign number 6 that the apocalypse is upon us:    Boy George is going to prison!!What the hell happened??  He went from punky brewster tranny pop diva, to some fucked up nasty character from Star Wars.   He looks like some evil gay ass sith lord.   Further proof of the decline of Western power.

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This is another brilliant one from those guys: STD Store   (NSFW)

"Our gifts that keep on giving are sure to make the perfect stocking stuffer any time of the year, so be sure to check out our complete line of sexually transmitted diseases. We’ve got venereal diseases for every taste and price range, so stop being a pussy and just buy it already."

and

"Can I get in trouble giving a disease to somebody?

Yes, so shut your mouth and don’t even tell your friends about it. Loose lips sink ships, and that goes two-fold in the flaps of her lady baffles, so don’t say a word to anybody about it and you’ll be fine.

How come when I asked the police they said it’s illegal to buy from the STD Store?

You can’t believe everything they tell you. They’re trained to lie. They also say perjury is illegal but they do it all the time. They say coercing and intimidating a witness is illegal, but they do that too. It’s illegal to download music from the internet, but you’ve done that. Did anything bad happen? It’s illegal to smoke pot but everybody does it anyway. It’s illegal to follow too close to the car in front of you or drive in the right lane except to pass. You need to get over your whole fear of authority because you won’t get anywhere acting like such a musky queef."

Life Saver

I thought it was funny.

"Do you get to choose where you go to college, choose how fast you drive, or choose if it’s the right time to have a baby?

Remember, the easiest way to ensure your paternal rights is to never become a parent so it doesn’t matter at all. We can help! Lifesaver can help you take back the choice that should have never been taken from you to begin with!

Don’t let your life be destroyed by the selfishness of some dumb broad. Protect your rights now and order today!"

Don’t Let Her Selfishness Destroy Your Life
Time are changing… are you? Are your employees? Is your organization keeping up? What was perfectly acceptable yesterday is completely inappropriate and offensive today. Are you and your employees staying ahead of the ever changing curve of political correctness?

Did you know Chinamen don’t like being called “Oriental”? Of course not! Why would you even care when it’s not really your problem? There’s a lot to understanding what you “can” and “can’t” say around the workplace and more importantly, its critical to know when things are suddenly labeled offensive.

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Revenge Crabs

The best revenge is giving them crabs

"You’ve got an ex, a grudge and a valid credit card with matching billing & shipping addresses, and we’ve got crabs."
Start working with the U.S Government to protect the Constitutional rights of Guantanamo Bay detainees and captured Enemy Combatants today.

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Check out their profiles. This is hilarious!
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Insurgents Available For Immediate Adoption:

Name: Yahoodi Msafer

Age: x

Language(s) Spoken: Arabic

Detained For: Unspecified grounds by way of information

Speaks English: No

Countries of Origin: Saudi Arabia by nationality, but they won’t take him back. He was picked up in Afghanistan.

Special Skills: He can herd goats very well and has worked with trained shepherd dogs. May also be proficient with small game milking.

About Him: This terrorist has been nearly a model inmate, even though he keeps bowing to pray to a false god at predictable times during the day. If you really want to mess with him, change the time on your clocks and see what he does!

His Dreams: According to his interpreter, the one thing he dreams most of is finding a new home. Not sure about the translation but it’s either “a new home” or “to go home”, but probably the former, because his old home was probably akin to a topographic anus in the worst bleached sector of nowhere.

Abortion Tracker

From the page: "Our unique search database pulls information from a variety of 3rd party and proprietary sources to compile a full, comprehensive list of every woman who has had an abortion procedure performed in the United States and Canada, dating back to 1940, in many cases."

http://abortiontracker.com/

Tracking all abortions in 39 states.Should we really know about all this?
It’s impossible to know what works were done by a man who died hundreds of years ago, and didn’t even speak English, but we do know a little and we can fill in everything we need to, just like he did.

http://saintchester.com/

If you want to be like St. Chester, you have to give of yourself. You have to see need, take the lead and accept responsibility. If you’re the lady who takes in a stray cat or two, you need to stop saying ‘no’ when people offer you another dozen strays. Saint Chester took in every orphaned boy he could get his fingers on, and he never asked for anything in exchange.